Not being an out atheist to my family has spared me the condescending comments of which you speak. I feel them implicitly, nonetheless. I can feel the certainty they feel in their faith, and the certainty in which they assume everyone shares their beliefs, or more aptly, their truths. I have no doubts that, upon sharing my non-belief, I would also be told I'm just going through something but I'll arrive at their truth one day.
I greatly appreciate your perspective and your service to the faithless, Alice. What's the alternative to the phrase, "You're doing the lord's work"?
Thank you, Doug! Oof, hiding your true self among family can be so tough. It can also be wise.
The certainty of truth from so many varied faiths has always been fascinating to me. As a teenage Christian missionary, India-bound, I remember being told that *we* had the The Truth. To spare Indians the eternal tortures of hell, we needed to convert and save as many Hindus and Sikhs as we could. I also remember thinking, "But surely the Hindus and Sikhs think *they* have the truth. Why would anyone believe things unless they thought they were true?"
I think we're most likely to absorb the beliefs of the culture in which we're born; or, those of the people/community to which we most wish to belong; or, the underlying beliefs we are just most exposed to.
As always, you really get it, and you are so good at communicating it. There are so few people that I encounter that understand the concepts you post about that I have to check my beliefs every so often to make sure I'm not the conspiracy theorist getting sucked it by "special knowledge" and "the truth".
In the end, it is neuropsychological humility that is the cornerstone of my world view. I believe that all humans evolved to have a predisposition to simplifying their complex surroundings into basic beliefs prioritizing simplicity and a reduction in cognitive dissonance over accuracy. Having that as a cornerstone of my world view automatically casts doubt on most things that people believe (including myself), so I exist in a state of constantly wondering what is true rather than assuming I know what is true.
I'm not a skeptic because I believe the supernatural doesn't exist, but rather because I don't have any belief that it does. The evidence would have to be pretty solid for me to believe that something apparently supernatural is really supernatural rather than a mistake made by people who have a natural predisposition to inaccurate beliefs.
Having grown up in and around a lot of very devout Catholics, and always being a natural skeptic, so much of this rings true. So well written, but I always love your writing.
Aw, thank you so much, Joe. Were you ever accused of having "the spirit of Doubting Thomas"? I remember someone praying over me to cast that spirit out. (Not sure how much Catholics may have in common with Charismatics regarding spiritual possession.)
I reread your your paragraphs on your second and third priorities. I was prepared to push back on your statement that faithlessness is not a choice. For years, since I admitted to myself that I don't believe in gods or any spiritual beings, I have always heard non-believers say that we are all born atheists, and those that become religious or spiritual do so because of indoctrination by their parents and church. I believed that to be true until I read your linked blog, "Is Faith a Choice?" That led me to find other studies that linked being religious to genetics. It's fascinating. I had read that genetics explain why some people are more likely to believe in conspiracy theories. It seems it should have been a simple leap to understand this would be true for believing or not believing. Thank you for this information. For me, at least, I accept your invitation.
Aww, I'm so happy this piece inspired your own further research! I'm willing to believe certain people who tell me they can actually choose what they believe and don't. I can't imagine what that must feel like, or how much easier life must be.
I chose to believe so many times. I always knew I was lying to myself. When people ask how I knew, the most effective way I've found for them to understand the sensation of my non-belief is by gently asking them to believe in Santa Claus. "Just choose. Have faith." But they know they're lying to themselves. Their non-belief in Santa's North Pole and elves is not a choice. It's simply not real for them.
I try never to use this Santa example mockingly and only if their curiosity seems in earnest. I really do try to avoid being condescending in my non-beliefs, they way I wish people weren't condescending in their beliefs. For those who seem sincere, the Santa example really is an effective way for people to instantly relate to the sensation of belief not being a choice.
And yes, I've also read interesting correlations between capacities for spiritual belief and conspiracy theories! I was very vulnerable to conspiracy theories myself after I lost my faith. When you grow up accepting things on faith, being told you have The Truth, and being primed to view mockery and pushback as affirmation that you *really* must have The Truth...you're more susceptible to believing other so-called Truths. It was very humbling for me to admit this to myself. (But I do still love indulging my curiosity about some conspiracies! ;) I'm just not quick to accept theories about them as truth.)
You are brave to talk about religion, spirituality, etc. but you are intelligent about the way you do it, to the extent that is possible. The Santa example is a smart way to answer the assertion that you would believe if you wanted to. I will certainly hold onto that one should I ever be brave as you and start discussing religion with true believers.
Not being an out atheist to my family has spared me the condescending comments of which you speak. I feel them implicitly, nonetheless. I can feel the certainty they feel in their faith, and the certainty in which they assume everyone shares their beliefs, or more aptly, their truths. I have no doubts that, upon sharing my non-belief, I would also be told I'm just going through something but I'll arrive at their truth one day.
I greatly appreciate your perspective and your service to the faithless, Alice. What's the alternative to the phrase, "You're doing the lord's work"?
Thank you, Doug! Oof, hiding your true self among family can be so tough. It can also be wise.
The certainty of truth from so many varied faiths has always been fascinating to me. As a teenage Christian missionary, India-bound, I remember being told that *we* had the The Truth. To spare Indians the eternal tortures of hell, we needed to convert and save as many Hindus and Sikhs as we could. I also remember thinking, "But surely the Hindus and Sikhs think *they* have the truth. Why would anyone believe things unless they thought they were true?"
I think we're most likely to absorb the beliefs of the culture in which we're born; or, those of the people/community to which we most wish to belong; or, the underlying beliefs we are just most exposed to.
As always, you really get it, and you are so good at communicating it. There are so few people that I encounter that understand the concepts you post about that I have to check my beliefs every so often to make sure I'm not the conspiracy theorist getting sucked it by "special knowledge" and "the truth".
In the end, it is neuropsychological humility that is the cornerstone of my world view. I believe that all humans evolved to have a predisposition to simplifying their complex surroundings into basic beliefs prioritizing simplicity and a reduction in cognitive dissonance over accuracy. Having that as a cornerstone of my world view automatically casts doubt on most things that people believe (including myself), so I exist in a state of constantly wondering what is true rather than assuming I know what is true.
I'm not a skeptic because I believe the supernatural doesn't exist, but rather because I don't have any belief that it does. The evidence would have to be pretty solid for me to believe that something apparently supernatural is really supernatural rather than a mistake made by people who have a natural predisposition to inaccurate beliefs.
Thank you!! And your thoughts are so very well-expressed yourself!
Having grown up in and around a lot of very devout Catholics, and always being a natural skeptic, so much of this rings true. So well written, but I always love your writing.
Aw, thank you so much, Joe. Were you ever accused of having "the spirit of Doubting Thomas"? I remember someone praying over me to cast that spirit out. (Not sure how much Catholics may have in common with Charismatics regarding spiritual possession.)
Doubting Thomas was my nickname in Sunday school. The priest loved to call me that. A lot of people prayed “for” me, but not to that extent.
I reread your your paragraphs on your second and third priorities. I was prepared to push back on your statement that faithlessness is not a choice. For years, since I admitted to myself that I don't believe in gods or any spiritual beings, I have always heard non-believers say that we are all born atheists, and those that become religious or spiritual do so because of indoctrination by their parents and church. I believed that to be true until I read your linked blog, "Is Faith a Choice?" That led me to find other studies that linked being religious to genetics. It's fascinating. I had read that genetics explain why some people are more likely to believe in conspiracy theories. It seems it should have been a simple leap to understand this would be true for believing or not believing. Thank you for this information. For me, at least, I accept your invitation.
Aww, I'm so happy this piece inspired your own further research! I'm willing to believe certain people who tell me they can actually choose what they believe and don't. I can't imagine what that must feel like, or how much easier life must be.
I chose to believe so many times. I always knew I was lying to myself. When people ask how I knew, the most effective way I've found for them to understand the sensation of my non-belief is by gently asking them to believe in Santa Claus. "Just choose. Have faith." But they know they're lying to themselves. Their non-belief in Santa's North Pole and elves is not a choice. It's simply not real for them.
I try never to use this Santa example mockingly and only if their curiosity seems in earnest. I really do try to avoid being condescending in my non-beliefs, they way I wish people weren't condescending in their beliefs. For those who seem sincere, the Santa example really is an effective way for people to instantly relate to the sensation of belief not being a choice.
And yes, I've also read interesting correlations between capacities for spiritual belief and conspiracy theories! I was very vulnerable to conspiracy theories myself after I lost my faith. When you grow up accepting things on faith, being told you have The Truth, and being primed to view mockery and pushback as affirmation that you *really* must have The Truth...you're more susceptible to believing other so-called Truths. It was very humbling for me to admit this to myself. (But I do still love indulging my curiosity about some conspiracies! ;) I'm just not quick to accept theories about them as truth.)
You are brave to talk about religion, spirituality, etc. but you are intelligent about the way you do it, to the extent that is possible. The Santa example is a smart way to answer the assertion that you would believe if you wanted to. I will certainly hold onto that one should I ever be brave as you and start discussing religion with true believers.