When thinking about the ethical concerns in adoption, I wonder if it’s also important to consider that, regardless of how they were taken into these systems, many children just won’t have families if they are not adopted. It’s hard for me to ignore even one of those little lives for the sake of an ethical high ground. Definitely a catch 22, but I think worth noting.
What you do with your writing is connect on an almost subconscious level to the reader.
It makes me forget about my own personal beliefs which closely align with yours without the religious trauma. I've had more than my share of trauma in truth including having my friends who I was sitting right next to have his brains blown out. But that was weirdly easy to accept because of our lifestyle. I expected that to happen to one of us if not all of us by some point. Like I've told you, Mia saved me from myself. I also have to thank a girl I met, military brat whose dad was way up there in the military brass. I only knew her for the summer of 92. I was a drunk in 92. Sarah had just committed suicide and I had less than zero coping skills. Zima was brand new back then which quickly filled my water bottles. Within a few days it was straight to gin. I was literally drunk from morning to night. I had a 0.6 GPA with near perfect attendance. I also got a D in PE! Summer came around and I was still being a punk, doing whatever I wanted (criminal shit). Leslie appeared out of nowhere. She was another beach bum. I always spent as much time as I could at the beach, day or night. Torrance, Redondo, Hermosa. Didn't matter which beach. Newport sometimes. She noticed me drinking by myself as i usually did and actually took me to my first Alateen, AA for teenagers. She spoke to me, listened to me. We didn't have much more of a relationship other than she took interest and tried to get me sober. I was completely dry for over a year afterwards, and when I did drink again I never drank to get drunk. That is until later. Mia helped me with her shit to get me to want to escape again. A bit of an over share, but you know me well enough that I'm comfortable with sharing things with you. My "Oyabun", Japanese for under-boss had told me my JR year towards the end that he was worried about his future and that I needed to take the time Senior year to get my life back together. Focus and get my school grades back up. He said he didn't want me to follow his footsteps. My dad was absentee, meaning he was working in Japan and I had no father figure in HS at all. So I fell in with a crowd which accepted me and taught me how to stick up for myself. They also figured out quickly that I have a crazy temper but my physical size, I must have been 105lbs back then meant that I wasn't going to win fights unless I used surprise, which I often did. And tools. But they also figured out that I understood and worked on cars. I worked at a car stereo/alarm shop so I knew how to get past the alarms. I became very good at teaching the others to grab cars that would get sent to Japan. I was a really bad kid Alice. My Oyabun told me to clean up my life. He also told me to move back to NorCal. He said that you used to be happy there, you should go back. I'll make sure that when you leave, nobody will come after you as long as you work a legit job. And we will know if you don't work a legit job. So I listened. I did as I was told. Mia came along and she also added further reinforcement to moving and starting over. I loved Laurie first when I was 13. Then Sarah at 15-16 (she was just 16 when she took her life). Totally avoidable had she been diagnosed properly with what we would have called manic-depressive. She was bi-polar with a hint of schizophrenia that was starting to show. My best memory of Sarah was and remains dancing in the rain with her in Palos Verdes barely dressed but having a blast. I didn't know her very long. Within 6 months she went from being way-way manic to taking her life. My third love is Mia. I don't plan on falling in love a fourth time. I've had my heart broken and filled too much already. Laurie being my first love was more of a crush and all the first time things. I know she has 3 kids now and lives out in Colorado somewhere. Her dad was a detective and her brother was a jock. Laurie was a runner. I was a mountain bike enthusiast. In 89-90 my mtn bike cost well over $1400. I could get from Los Altos Hills to Palo Alto faster than a car could. They had traffic, I chose the roads that had the least traffic lights and I did not use the brakes unless I absolutely needed to. Of course back then I NEVER wore a helmet. Every month I would spend all of my allowance on mtn bike parts. The bike was originally a $600 bicycle. One day I will cover my Ruptured Brain Aneurysms and Strokes with you. I'll also tell you about my confusing, messed up, co-dependent (not anymore) relationship with Mia and John, my Son who would have been 26 this past May. I didn't even know he was mine until about 2 years later. His death certificate has unknown for father. His headstone has my last name and the inscription, "To the Son I never knew, I love you forever." It's maybe not the best headstone, but it's not on display anywhere. Only family knows where it is. One day, we plan on having it removed and vacated and his ashes spread in any ocean, doesn't matter which one. I never got to see him, hold him, smell him. I will tell you more about Mia in more detail, or my relationship (dysfunctional era) relationship with her someday. I think you'll learn a lot about humans and more about our capacity to forgive. This is why I'm totally okay with Catholicism, they have a system that allows for repentance. Me, I may have been baptized, raised in a school that was affiliated with the Church of England, but American Anglican is not the same thing as Christians that are members of the Church of England. I stopped believing early on about the three gods. But I do have a sort of belief in creation, and in life. Shinto, the religion that the Japanese Imperial Armed forces took over and gave a bad name to is all about life. There's a tree that survived the firebombings of Tokyo, literally was the only tree left standing in my current neighbourhood. When I go to the shrine, which I might later today, I give the tree 5yen and rub the tree.
To call me Japanese is incorrect, I'm certainly not English, nor am I American. I don't know what I am other than Human.
I hope to pick this up another time. I'll fill you in on anything you have questions with. Absolutely nothing is off limits. I'm totally open to sharing things with you. Just as long as you keep it private. It can be public if you ask. Just ask!
When thinking about the ethical concerns in adoption, I wonder if it’s also important to consider that, regardless of how they were taken into these systems, many children just won’t have families if they are not adopted. It’s hard for me to ignore even one of those little lives for the sake of an ethical high ground. Definitely a catch 22, but I think worth noting.
Incredibly, deeply personal.
What you do with your writing is connect on an almost subconscious level to the reader.
It makes me forget about my own personal beliefs which closely align with yours without the religious trauma. I've had more than my share of trauma in truth including having my friends who I was sitting right next to have his brains blown out. But that was weirdly easy to accept because of our lifestyle. I expected that to happen to one of us if not all of us by some point. Like I've told you, Mia saved me from myself. I also have to thank a girl I met, military brat whose dad was way up there in the military brass. I only knew her for the summer of 92. I was a drunk in 92. Sarah had just committed suicide and I had less than zero coping skills. Zima was brand new back then which quickly filled my water bottles. Within a few days it was straight to gin. I was literally drunk from morning to night. I had a 0.6 GPA with near perfect attendance. I also got a D in PE! Summer came around and I was still being a punk, doing whatever I wanted (criminal shit). Leslie appeared out of nowhere. She was another beach bum. I always spent as much time as I could at the beach, day or night. Torrance, Redondo, Hermosa. Didn't matter which beach. Newport sometimes. She noticed me drinking by myself as i usually did and actually took me to my first Alateen, AA for teenagers. She spoke to me, listened to me. We didn't have much more of a relationship other than she took interest and tried to get me sober. I was completely dry for over a year afterwards, and when I did drink again I never drank to get drunk. That is until later. Mia helped me with her shit to get me to want to escape again. A bit of an over share, but you know me well enough that I'm comfortable with sharing things with you. My "Oyabun", Japanese for under-boss had told me my JR year towards the end that he was worried about his future and that I needed to take the time Senior year to get my life back together. Focus and get my school grades back up. He said he didn't want me to follow his footsteps. My dad was absentee, meaning he was working in Japan and I had no father figure in HS at all. So I fell in with a crowd which accepted me and taught me how to stick up for myself. They also figured out quickly that I have a crazy temper but my physical size, I must have been 105lbs back then meant that I wasn't going to win fights unless I used surprise, which I often did. And tools. But they also figured out that I understood and worked on cars. I worked at a car stereo/alarm shop so I knew how to get past the alarms. I became very good at teaching the others to grab cars that would get sent to Japan. I was a really bad kid Alice. My Oyabun told me to clean up my life. He also told me to move back to NorCal. He said that you used to be happy there, you should go back. I'll make sure that when you leave, nobody will come after you as long as you work a legit job. And we will know if you don't work a legit job. So I listened. I did as I was told. Mia came along and she also added further reinforcement to moving and starting over. I loved Laurie first when I was 13. Then Sarah at 15-16 (she was just 16 when she took her life). Totally avoidable had she been diagnosed properly with what we would have called manic-depressive. She was bi-polar with a hint of schizophrenia that was starting to show. My best memory of Sarah was and remains dancing in the rain with her in Palos Verdes barely dressed but having a blast. I didn't know her very long. Within 6 months she went from being way-way manic to taking her life. My third love is Mia. I don't plan on falling in love a fourth time. I've had my heart broken and filled too much already. Laurie being my first love was more of a crush and all the first time things. I know she has 3 kids now and lives out in Colorado somewhere. Her dad was a detective and her brother was a jock. Laurie was a runner. I was a mountain bike enthusiast. In 89-90 my mtn bike cost well over $1400. I could get from Los Altos Hills to Palo Alto faster than a car could. They had traffic, I chose the roads that had the least traffic lights and I did not use the brakes unless I absolutely needed to. Of course back then I NEVER wore a helmet. Every month I would spend all of my allowance on mtn bike parts. The bike was originally a $600 bicycle. One day I will cover my Ruptured Brain Aneurysms and Strokes with you. I'll also tell you about my confusing, messed up, co-dependent (not anymore) relationship with Mia and John, my Son who would have been 26 this past May. I didn't even know he was mine until about 2 years later. His death certificate has unknown for father. His headstone has my last name and the inscription, "To the Son I never knew, I love you forever." It's maybe not the best headstone, but it's not on display anywhere. Only family knows where it is. One day, we plan on having it removed and vacated and his ashes spread in any ocean, doesn't matter which one. I never got to see him, hold him, smell him. I will tell you more about Mia in more detail, or my relationship (dysfunctional era) relationship with her someday. I think you'll learn a lot about humans and more about our capacity to forgive. This is why I'm totally okay with Catholicism, they have a system that allows for repentance. Me, I may have been baptized, raised in a school that was affiliated with the Church of England, but American Anglican is not the same thing as Christians that are members of the Church of England. I stopped believing early on about the three gods. But I do have a sort of belief in creation, and in life. Shinto, the religion that the Japanese Imperial Armed forces took over and gave a bad name to is all about life. There's a tree that survived the firebombings of Tokyo, literally was the only tree left standing in my current neighbourhood. When I go to the shrine, which I might later today, I give the tree 5yen and rub the tree.
To call me Japanese is incorrect, I'm certainly not English, nor am I American. I don't know what I am other than Human.
I hope to pick this up another time. I'll fill you in on anything you have questions with. Absolutely nothing is off limits. I'm totally open to sharing things with you. Just as long as you keep it private. It can be public if you ask. Just ask!
Thanks Alice for listening.
Never meant to be over flattering.
You really are eloquent/well spoken.
Maybe it's reading scripture all the time in your "spare time". or reading scripts?
I wish I could write as well as you can and do!